coming up on six months of estrogen
it's a surreal feeling. a good surreal, but surreal nonetheless. it has been a complicated time in my life, feeling the most emotion i've ever felt and having to process that during a second puberty as i rip myself out of my shell in order to become a maladjusted adult woman. i'd been so scared to start this journey for so long, from money struggles to pure old-fashioned anxiety. to finally be here now, climbing this mountain, is something i don't think i'm ever going to truly process. i'm far from complaining - it's turning me into the woman i deserve to be, giving me a chance to finally breathe fresh air for the first time. i wouldn't be here without a friend by the name of mollie, who originally got me to set up my appointment with planned parenthood to start estrogen. she's been helping me get a ton of femme clothes, a bunch of hygiene and self-care stuff, and she's helping me live like i never have before. she's taken on the role of a sort of cool, drinking-problem "mother of my transition" and it's really sweet. i don't know what i'd do without her ngl. i actually feel pretty for once. i've been happy-crying at least three times a week because, despite everything, i am the happiest i have ever been. and to be fully honest? it's because of her.
fully unrelated fun fact, i stole my name from "Howl's Moving Castle", a Studio Ghibli film. Watch it. Trust me.